Oh ughh, the lovely type excuse. Don’t you hate it when someone breaks up with you because you’re not their “type”? I don’t know about you, but I do. I think that the whole type thing is overrated and that it just falls into the same category as “it’s not you, it’s me.” I never thought I had a type, but apparently some people do. I think that people often construe their type to be the qualities that they like in a person. Not one person can have a definite type without a few qualities flying amuck here and there. I think that people need to drop the type and replace it with the image of a person who just simply makes them happy.
As far as the origin of types, I believe it was deeply rooted in some guy’s lame excuses for breaking up with a girl who didn’t quite satisfy him. Having a type, in my opinion, is one thing that will set you up for a lot of grief. You’re never going to find someone who fits the mold of your type exactly, so why are you still holding fast to an imaginary person? Maybe I’m a little harsh and cynical, but get real people. The perfect man or woman simply isn’t out there, based on the list of qualities that you believe to be of the utmost importance. Deeming a person “just your type” will set you up for sheer and utter doom. I’ve read that most divorces occur because of unfulfilled expectations. Hmm. I have a cousin (who’s not really a cousin just a family friend type thing) who actually has a list of things she’s looking for in a man. I knew ballerinas were perfect and meticulous, but a LIST? Really? As I said in the first paragraph, there will never be a person who checks off on every single quality; you might find that person but there will ALWAYS be a downside.
I think that men like women who are tall and blonde and women like men with scruffy beards because maybe they found someone who possessed those qualities and they really liked that person. This sort of reverts back to the long lost love thing; maybe one person is set in their ways of loving someone with a nasty beard because they once loved someone with said beard. Perhaps it’s all psychological (I’m just kidding, that’s a load of hooey). But seriously, the whole staying within your type threshold is just a silly safeguard so you won’t have to explore the different qualities that you fear in a person. Who knows, maybe someone who likes men with gross beards will fall in love with someone who has no beard at all. The world is full of surprises people.
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Your blog is quickly becoming one of my favorites to read MadCatLady. This one is particularly interesting because I think we agree yet we took opposing sides on this argument. I said that types definitely exist, otherwise why wouldn't you just date every schmo that came up to you but that ultimately, all we really want is someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and being with them. We judge on the physical in hopes of meeting someone who has both what we physically desire and what we emotionally need. I think people settle too often for what physically satisfies them which is why divorce rates are so high. If we really don't know what it is that makes us happy, how are we to search for it? People need to understand themselves better and get out of their own way when it comes to love. I agree that lists are crazy! I was watching a recent episode of Dr. Phil, yes I have no life haha, and there was a debate about this very thing. One woman who had done a study on married couples said if you have a list you'll be lucky to get someone who has even 40% of the things on it. WOW! Why turn a person in to a list? I think Dr. Phil offered a much better idea, if you have to have a list. Choose five things that would be deal breakers for you. Meaning five things he absolutely can not be, like already married, and let the rest flow naturally. I also believe that women often times miss out on really great guys simply because they're not the right height, hair color, job, etc.
ReplyDeleteI really love your blog. You are right the whole way through. It is a matter of everyone setting foot on earth and realizing that there is no such thing as “my type” or a “perfect person”. No one is perfect. Of course I can show you the good side of me, but eventually you will find the bad side. I guess it is just a matter of letting your heart choose who they want to fall in love with, rather than making a list of desires and types. There is no way you will ever find the dream man of a LIST in real life. Perhaps you will find that person of your “type” that fulfills all the requirements on your list; however, they will most likely have an extra addition to that list that you just will not like. Whatever it is, or who ever we are looking for out there in the world, we might just never find. Maybe the perfect man might be the nerd sitting next to you in math class. The one you would have never thought about even looking at. I mean, like you said, this world is full of surprises.
ReplyDeleteI believe everyone has a type of person their attracted to but I can also agree with how you define types. Ultimately I believe peoples types are what they find most physically or emotionally attractive at first glance. It is funny how you stated that you believe the origin of types was rooted in a guy’s lame excuse to break up with a girl. I don’t see how that would be a valid reason or excuse to break up with someone because if they weren’t your type why would you start dating them? But I think the origin of types was started by women because they are more picker than men. For women they have a big list of qualities for the man to fill but for men all the girl has to be is hot. Also women have more leverage into picking their mates then men do, men try to pick up girls but it is ultimately up to the woman to say yes or no. At the end of your blog when you were talking about surprises and people can fall in love with anyone. I agree with this completely, in the end everyone’s type means nothing when you find the one for you.
ReplyDeleteOh my god I love your blog haha. You are so harsh I agree with what you said on my comments haha. You are so harsh but I have to say it is the truth haha. Good job on that. Yeah our do sound similar but yeah like for me I like guys who have it going on and man I am not the best looking person but I was so swallow. I was like I only want cute guys yet I am not the best looking person haha. I love how you said that we will never find someone who fits us perfectly. I think that is true because like we are not all the same. We are all trying to our soulmates yet at times I think there is no such thing haha. Wait a minute you got a friend who has a list of things to look for a man. What? Why? I do not think a person can do all those qualities. It is true we might find someone who is always on the downside. That is so true. I agree on your last paragraph though. Many people like those tall women or the guys with scruffy beards but that is what they like and that is something they like. I have a friend who likes big guys and have beards too and she is skinny girl who is smart. She been with this dude for two years and she is still all happy. That is her type and if she is happy then hey you cannot stop a happy person. I say opposites attract and it is crazy how they do.
ReplyDeleteI just want to start off by saying that I loved reading this blog. You get straight to the point and you know exactly what you’re talking about. I loved how you explained the origin of having a type. I’ve heard the same lame excuse before; it just seems like a cop out for guys to dump a girl without telling them the truth. I don’t really think someone can entirely fit a specific type; there are so many dynamics to everyone’s personality and these types are so specific, we all fit into more than one, if they truly exist. And you’re so right about people having their check lists for people. And you’re absolutely right; when people do that, they’re just setting themselves up for failure. I have a friend that does the same thing, and she wonders why she’s still single. There’s just no possible way that you’re going to find your walking checklist. I never really sort people into types; it almost makes me feel like I’m sorting my laundry, putting clothes that seem to match with a specific pile, but not quite sure what to do with the dark shirt with a bunch of white in it. lol Great job!
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