if you've never seen the princess bride, then you totally won't get my title. lol
Writing Topic Numero Uno Pg. 589
Wow, reading this story made me really furious. To say that a women should “keep her silence” absolutely makes me want to go on a homicidal rampage and destroy men everywhere. But that’s not what I’m supposed to be writing about. J This man’s definition of how a marriage should is so out of line and selfish. I’ve never been a big fan of arranged marriages, and I hate that it still happens today. It is so unfair that a person should not be able to choose the person they want to marry and that they are told they can’t marry who they want to. The attitude that this father has about marriage are definitely different from my own and from my parents. I have never felt stifled by my parents when it comes to who I love, and that’s because I’ve only loved like what..2 people? The first person I brought home to them didn’t make them extremely happy, but it didn’t make them want to curl up and die. As far as their attitude about marriage goes, I think that they have a pretty standard opinion: it doesn’t matter if you are young, as long as your man can take care of you, and he better treat you with the utmost respect otherwise your father will mame him. My parents married very young, my mom was only 18. I can’t imagine being in that position now, even though it is much more acceptable. I think that sometimes they can be a little old-fashioned, but never to the point where they won’t let me marry who I want to. Sure, they hate tattoos, piercings, and guys without jobs, but if it’s my wish to marry one then so be it because it’s my mistake. I think if I brought home a guy who had no job, played video games and his guitar all day, was covered in tattoos and piercings they would have an extremely difficult time accepting our engagement. You see, my sister has this boyfriend (aside from the tattoos), and my parents absolutely can’t stand him. Of course they treat him with respect, but they still hate him. My parents would never tell my sister that she couldn’t marry her boyfriend, and they would show up to the wedding and wish her well, but they wouldn’t be too happy about it. I’m finding it really hard to squeeze out five hundred words this week lol. Despite the fact that my parents may not like who I marry, they would never in a million years cut me off completely and disown. I think that people who do that are horrible parents and shouldn’t have had children in the first place. I think my parents will always stand by me and support my decisions, regardless of their feelings towards them.
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I completely agree with you about this particular father, it is so unfair for a parent, or parents, to act that way and treat their children that way. Obviously this guy is living in the old days because most of the time that is not how it is anymore. I think that with all the advancements that our society has made in recent years that people generally try to stay open-minded about people and situations. Unfortunately though we do not live in a perfect world and therefore people are not going to be perfect. Everybody has their own opinions about things and just because you and I (and I am pretty sure quite a few other people) do not agree with the decisions that this father made towards his daughter and her choice in a spouse, does not mean that everybody disagrees. In fact, I think more people would support this than we think. We have to remember that even though our society has greatly advanced it has happened very quickly in giant leaps and bounds and because of that some people have not adjusted to the new ways of the world. I have quite a few older friends and it amazes me that some people do not even know how to turn on a computer! I think some people like to reject the ways that society has changed and stick to what they know and who can blame them? I know that if I didn’t grow up with computers and such advanced technology I would be lost too!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all...i love you reference to Princess Bride (I love that movie!). Ok so back to the response, I totally agree with arranged marriages being wrong and really out dated. In high school I knew a girl who was raised in a really strict immigrant Indian home and her parents had already arranged a marriage for her and she hated it and I remember thinking what if that was me? What would I do? So I have seen first hand the devastation that is possible in such situations. Like your parents mine also support me in what I do and I have always felt that even when I make a mistake they will be there, even when I date the wrong person, which has happened a lot. The only thing that I think would have really freaked them out and sent them over the edge is if I would have wanted to get married straight out of high school just because of how hard it is to make such a marriage survive. However, the most important thing is that as people, young and old, you feel you have a choice and an arranged marriage steps all over that.
ReplyDeleteHaha your title is creative haha. Yeah I know what that means haha. I agree with what you said about the arrange marriages. It sucks you love someone else not the person you are about to marry. It is sad, this story is sad to my eyes. I will not disown my kids if they married outside of their race. Your parents and my parents are the same they will not disown us if we marry someone who is not part of race. My parents are the same when you said about having a boyfriend with nothing going on, if I married one of those then my parents will not approve of him but they will support my choice. At times I wish my uncle was more open like that. He cannot I will repeat it one more time he cannot stand for me to have a boyfriend who is outside my race and religion. He thinks that all people outside of the Mexican race are good for nothing. I disagree with that honestly. I hate that my uncle does not approve of guys who are not the same culture as me. It is good to have parents who would think of what you want and they let you make your own choices. That is the same with my parents, they approve of anyone who is good to me and will be there. Every dad wants their daughter to have a good man in their life. That is my dad too. Great blog and I have to say nice title haha
ReplyDeleteI agree with your opinion of arranged marriages. I mean, sure, you have that guarantee of being married but there’s also that guarantee that you’re going to resent those who forced you into a position that you soon realize you never wanted to begin with. I think we should all have the right to marry who we want, arranging marriages is just asking for trouble. And my parents are the same way; as long as I’m happy in my relationship with a guy, that’s all that matters to them. They could be completely against our relationship, but as long as I’m happy and I’m not doing anything stupid that will get myself into serious trouble, they’ll support me. But my parents are different in that if they don’t like who I’m dating, they let everybody know. I dated a guy (which later on I realized was a big mistake) and my dad had no problem coming into my room at 4 am and expressing his opinion of my relationship. Very loudly, I might add. Personally, I know I’m very careful when it comes to relationships, and I understand the point of view where parents want to protect their children and make sure they’re taken care of, but there’s a certain extent as to how much parental protection and guidance is too much and is actually doing more harm than good.
ReplyDeleteI can see this story hit a nerve of yours, I’m guessing you’re a strong believer of women’s rights. This story was interesting to read along with your blog. Arranged marriages and disownment happens every day in other cultures, religions, and countries. I don’t think someone would mind arranged marriages if they were brought up in that culture. They are set up to get the best spouse for their daughter financially and status wise. To them it doesn’t really matter if you love the person you’re marrying, they learn to love them. But every culture is different and who is to say that the way we conduct marriages in the US is right. The divorce rate is very high in America, obviously we are doing something wrong. But I’m glad we live here in the US where we can decide and choose whoever we want to. My parents are sort of the same way as yours, they would be nice to whoever I brought home even if they didn’t like them. They would tell me their concerns when the time is right. But overall I believe they trust my judgment in who I see.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I too think that arranged marriages are outrageous and are more or less setting people up to fail or be unhappy. I know that some work, but for the most part the people who are arranged to be married, more or less settle and pretend to be happy. They do what they have to, to get threw. I understand that this is a cultural thing, and that the people who do this to their children have a core meaning and reason behind it, but even so I find it to be inhuman and wrong. To do something like this to someone especially somoene you love is not right. You should want the best for those you love, and your best for them and their best may be two different things. I know that parents want to beleive they know it all, and hey I know for a fact 99.9% of the time they are correct and we thank them for their knowledge and guidance. Yet when it comes to love and being with someone only you yourself can decide whether it is right for you and if it is what you want for yourself. I know that in these arranged marriages the men are usually wealthy and they are set to supply for a family and make a good husband, but people are different in so many ways, that it would be mere chance for it to work like a marriage where the people wanted to marry.
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