writing topic on page 263:
One experience that pressured me into acting like a complete mess was middle school. I know that I should narrow it down to one specific event, but the fact is that the two years I spent in middle school were one big mess of an experience. Going to a new school was always a tricky thing because you had to figure out how you would survive your first day and eventually make new friends. On my first day I met someone and we were best friends instantly, calling each other right when we got home from school, having sleepovers, ditching class together, and spending every minute together. However, I was never quite like her or the people she introduced me to. She and her friends were into smoking, sex, and alcohol. I had just transferred from a tiny hole in the wall Christian school, and was in no position to go with the flow. I had no idea what I should do; go along with their antics and survive, or go my own way and not have fun. Being stupid, I chose to try to mold myself into a girl that maybe she could have fun with. I never realized just how much pressure could destroy a person’s intelligence. I had always been a straight A student, but when I started trying to fit in with these losers I almost flunked out of the seventh grade. How I didn’t see that I was being a complete idiot is beyond me even still. It was the simple fact that I was never quite tough enough, was never willing to drink as much or smoke as much that sent me into the idiot phase of my life. Peer pressure can be as real or as insignificant as you want it to be, and I was too stupid to see the difference between having friends and hanging out with burnouts that to this day haven’t done jack with their lives. The one thing that bothers me most is that I let them change me and my standards. I don’t want to sound stuck up, but I was better than these people. I knew I wanted to graduate with a 4.0 and go to a university, while they just wanted to get high at lunch. It’s not pressure from friends, but all the people around you who make you feel like you should change yourself.
I think I may be missing the point a little on this topic, but when I really think about it, public pressure can be from your friends too and not just people in general. Everyone has suffered from pressure, and it has changed them all either for the good or the worse. I don’t believe it to necessarily be a horrible thing that happens to a person, I believe that it can be a wonderful thing. I think this because I have been changed for the better; I have become a strong person and learned to always listen to myself first.
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I think the most important thing is that you have grown up and learned from your mistakes. When you are young it is so easy to get caught up in things that as an adult you realize are really stupid. Fitting in tends to Trump common sense when you’re growing up. I know that for me there we’re a lot of times were I had to be really strong to keep from getting into trouble. There was a lot of pressure to do a lot of thing things that I didn’t want to do, and I “missed out” on a lot of things in high school because I wouldn’t go to the parties that I knew I was going to be put into a tough situation. I also got passed up for a lot of dates because I wasn’t as, lets say available, as some of the other girls. There were a lot of times that I thought maybe I should just be the way everyone else was but in the end I knew that I just wasn’t that person. Looking back on all of it now I am so glad that I didn’t compromise myself. Like you’ve also noticed, there are a lot of people from my class that did the things I didn’t who are not accomplishing as much as I am, or at least are having a hard time doing it while they raise their babies! And although that’s fine for them that’s just not where I would like to be at this point in my life.
ReplyDeleteI think you’re absolutely right, if it’s handled the right way, peer pressure can be a very beneficial experience in our lives. I had a similar experience myself and looking back, I also feel it was a stupid thing to conform to, but it almost seems inevitable now with more and more kids getting themselves sucked into these trends and they seem to only get worse. In a way, I’m thankful that I experienced peer pressure and the compulsion to conform to what was popular at the time. Not only is high school a race to find acceptance, but to fight through conformity and find your own identity despite what may be considered cool with those around us. I think as it pertains to being in high school, it goes back to making the decision of having more friends who may be a negative influence, or a handful of friends you can trust. I also agree with Lisa, as hard as it seemed to do to risk friendships, I’m glad I stood my ground in the end and didn’t compromise myself just to fit in. College wouldn’t be a possibility for many of us if we gave in to what everyone else did. The experience does help us grow as people and I think it’s one of the most important lessons we can and must learn first-hand. Unfortunately, these lessons can’t be learned by simply telling our individual stories; we must let ourselves endure the true test of the stability of our character.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely can relate to your blog about how you can meet someone new in a situation where people are looking for acquaintances and to fit in. I moved to a new city to start a new job and I didn’t know anyone for miles. At work I ended up associating with people that I thought were fun. But I soon started to find out that these people were not good to hang out with. They were under investigation for a few work related crimes. I immediately started to back off from this group of people. I’m lucky someone told me about these certain people because two weeks after I found out how their character was, they were fired and were charged with crimes. I’m sure if I kept hanging out with them I would have damaged my character at my job. Also the people who told me what was going on, we all ended up being good friends.
ReplyDeleteIt is good that you realized and had good morals to not hang out with these types of people. As you said, they are doing nothing with their lives while you’re going to college and I’m sure other productive things.
Your blog at the first sentence got my attention, I am happy you realized kind of people you were hanging out with. I agree with you I also think everyone goes through that stage where you follow the crowd and what they do. I see it right now with people who are my age and I am always like why are people like that. I remember I was the same when I was in middle school, besides the sex part lol. But remember doing the same thing. I would follow the crowd and I would be a 6th grader always sneaking out of house almost every day just to be out and about. I was becoming a bad child. I remember I got caught one night by the mom and she did not tell my dad but she got mad at me. She did not want me hanging out with that crowd. Since my cousins went to the same school as me, they would find ways to keep away from the people I could always hang out with. After that my mom got into cheerleading and dance team and I started to hang out with a new circle of friends. I started hanging out with new girls, and I changed everything I would do. But I have to say your blog was good and I like it.
ReplyDeletePressure from the outside and from your peers can be the worst pressure of all. It takes a strong person to withstand all the crap that surrounds you in junior and high school. It is important to realize that as long as we learn from the experiences we do not have to ocnstantly live regretting any of the experiences
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